if i was the poet i want to be i would be different
a vision of ginsberg's 'essence' but with a different face in blue in my head
a vision of myself in bed where i can see my breath in the air
a vision of myself in a sweater and american apparel underwear setting up a camera
a vision of myself on mushrooms on my knees and on my elbows in the shower feeling rhythmically 'bukowski's' 'judgment' or like 'what would bukowski be thinking and doing in my situation' and being so sick of myself that i almost threw up
a vision of myself feeling the same thing with 'zachary german' instead of 'bukowski' but in a different situation in a different part of the year
a vision of myself eating onion rings with homemade salsa and then having a cigarette on the porch, not drinking a beer but drinking a dr. pepper
think about a confused eagle flying over a digital representation of people stuttering
"i need to get out of here"
i guess a vision of myself at a computer at night watching a .gif of black waves wash over themselves repeatedly for a long enough time that i think something is slowly changing and i try to convince myself of this for a while
a vision of a person trying to be friendly with other persons
think about a confused eagle on an air treadmill
things like that
2 comments:
'think about a confused eagle flying over a digital representation of people stuttering'
this image is going to be rendering in my head all day, I think right now it's at, like, 17% complete
downloading a video of a hotdog the length of a digestive tract forced through the human body
the human body is not a solid thing but full of holes
the human body can get used to gagging for an hour or two
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