oh

2011-07-21T22:40:00.003-05:00

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2011-04-06T02:12:00.001-05:00

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2011-04-06T02:11:00.000-05:00

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2010-05-17T01:20:00.005-05:00

2010-05-17T01:04:00.002-05:00

i'm too high to do anything

but i've clipped my toenails to morrissey

'my favorite album of the year so far' is 'dear god i hate myself'

2010-04-19T21:57:00.005-05:00

2010-03-21T00:45:00.001-05:00

it was ok

I sat alone some of the time

I sat with people some of the time

I looked at a shampoo bottle

2010-02-11T15:08:00.009-06:00

2010-01-11T19:46:00.009-06:00

2010-01-06T01:08:00.001-06:00

http://angeladevi.tumblr.com/

german postcard

2010-01-02T15:06:00.008-06:00

hemp scented body lotion

2009-12-30T03:47:00.001-06:00

not sure what i was going to do

Hemp body lotion

2009-12-19T22:01:00.005-06:00

Secretly part of me has always wanted to try cocaine, but I just couldn't imagine sniffing anything up my nose. It seems like that would hurt.

Halle Berry

brrrrrrrrrr

2009-12-11T02:08:00.005-06:00

2009-11-25T12:57:00.008-06:00

just ate too fast

2009-11-24T19:26:00.008-06:00

+

2009-11-14T17:04:00.005-06:00

part of a poem by michael sambar has been published at http://www.readsomewords.com

i wish i had a picture of us to put here

O lord

2009-11-09T17:35:00.021-06:00

if i was the poet i want to be i would be different

a vision of ginsberg's 'essence' but with a different face in blue in my head

a vision of myself in bed where i can see my breath in the air

a vision of myself in a sweater and american apparel underwear setting up a camera

a vision of myself on mushrooms on my knees and on my elbows in the shower feeling rhythmically 'bukowski's' 'judgment' or like 'what would bukowski be thinking and doing in my situation' and being so sick of myself that i almost threw up

a vision of myself feeling the same thing with 'zachary german' instead of 'bukowski' but in a different situation in a different part of the year

a vision of myself eating onion rings with homemade salsa and then having a cigarette on the porch, not drinking a beer but drinking a dr. pepper

think about a confused eagle flying over a digital representation of people stuttering

"i need to get out of here"

i guess a vision of myself at a computer at night watching a .gif of black waves wash over themselves repeatedly for a long enough time that i think something is slowly changing and i try to convince myself of this for a while

a vision of a person trying to be friendly with other persons

think about a confused eagle on an air treadmill

things like that

999

2009-11-06T23:41:00.020-06:00

O lord, what is my problem

O lord, I just want to find my car keys

O lord, you left me here after sixth grade

O lord, I pushed the 0 button before the shift and o combination, had to delete it

O lord, I remember some things too well

I remember the retarded kids the best

that and my parents using my old t shirts and underwear as rags to clean things

O lord, I've thrown up in buckets meant for popcorn or leaks in the ceiling

O lord, my hands smell like my mouth like a song

O lord, my dreams are uncomfortably hot

this is the best I can describe it

O lord, philosophically I'm an asshole

when I played basketball, one of the big criticisms of my game was that I didn’t play as big as I was

another was that I was a pussy

very spiritual

2009-10-31T01:15:00.029-05:00

1

I eat like a bird almost

I have this discipline of treating everything equally / not always, almost always

it's just like music / I attack a water bottle of vodka and drink it like it’s a water bottle of cold water

but I never hallucinated which is very close to being blind

the best I could describe it

something that does or does not always happen / I guess

I used to call it "democratic"

2

unlike southern militias, southern artists are primarily considered poets / essentially, or, lyrically

a visual side of America, overdone or something, rotting of the idea

woke up wrong / for the public

these visions, all terrible, basically coming from the same place / 50's, 60's, 70's

a beauty and strangeness to Piggly Wiggly, the old Kroger, the colors / dead from drinking, for a little bit, psychotherapy, things like that

I might love it, but I don’t know

2009-10-29T18:02:00.003-05:00

"I can't tell if I'm high, or if I just want to be high."

spiritual

2009-10-28T23:07:00.033-05:00

re

2009-10-26T00:14:00.001-05:00

the 80's when the 80's were happening

2009-10-22T20:38:00.008-05:00

I was a very mature little girl because I was always with Gianni

Gianni was a pioneer, almost ten years older than me

when I was about 10 or 11, that was 1992

Gianni had this very rock n’ roll feeling

I have to say, I used to put on

boots, scarves / and dress up as Jimi Hendrix

I was dreaming, like eating and breathing

he brought me even further into it

Gianni started to play with me being his model

he’d try clothes on me and ask, “What do you think?”

the first piece of metal mesh he did was for me

I’d wear a miniskirt and patent leather boots / I loved the contrast

I have to say, he was pushing me to do my hair lighter, to bleach it, but he was in love

I wanted to make music that was timeless, to see it

in either a more innocent way or a more sophisticated way, but I don't know

Gianni was a huge music junkie / Metallica, Lenny Kravitz, Jimi Hendrix

I was fascinated / glamor by osmosis, fashion and music, when Gianni asked you to come

it just came naturally, a combination of metallics

I loved it, it was very rock n’ roll

brooke shields spiritual

2009-10-19T00:04:00.010-05:00

I pretty much started taking acid right away

I was the worst candidate for that type of thing

I've sought out and had conversations

you see all the pictures

I never had a good time

but back then there were maybe something like 200 celebrities

so that's one way something like that can happen

an out of body experience for five to 10 minutes

I didn't like hovering above myself

I wanted to get rid of the color

it was bad, I had to leave, I didn't want to share my blanket or be "all one"

that's what jimi hendrix and marilyn monroe died from

you see all the pictures

people who have money

jimi hendrix or gram parson or jim morrison or janis joplin or kurt cobain

I picked up a book on them

kerouac, he really became kind of a republican

but, I think that people underestimated how intelligent and how well read he was

and I think that really got to him

like what happened to jackson pollock, being famous was different, it's like

I don't know

I bought brigid berlin's cock print book

I just love the mysticism, the things people save

in the middle of god only knows where

like john coltrane or something, staring straight into the camera

yeah, I don't know

looking back, or going through a door and thinking

I was always afraid because I just didn't fit in

the sound was complicated, more sophisticated than your garden variety pop songs

it still seems weird to me that someone could come out of that type of existence

but that's the weirdest thing about celebrity

I was a completely clueless teenager

keith richards holding a bottle of jack daniels, lozenge eyes lozenge face

standing in a field, sepia toned

the color of a much more psychedelic type of music

the color of pissing on ice

I wanted to go back to that field and take a photograph of it

michael sambar

2009-10-17T15:43:00.039-05:00

is a prince

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we put wine in a gatorade bottle last night

it hurt my head today

light, appropriate kisses

2009-10-15T08:07:00.017-05:00

a poem series titled WATCH ME AS I JUMP UPON A DISASTROUS BANDWAGON by joseph goosey ~~will be posted on read some words in the next week or so~~ is freshly posted at http://www.readsomewords.com

this is a promotional picture

if you haven't read andy riverbed's Missed Connections & Casual Encounters, then i don't know, one person emailed me "ddddddddddddddddddamn"

this is a promotional picture too

touched my face too much today

2009-10-08T23:25:00.007-05:00

nrvs abt pblc prcptn

2009-10-06T09:11:00.007-05:00

2 cncrnd abt pblc prcptn 2 m0ve

mhm had two things published online at the wake, a poem and a review of bsg's dmnbiwthabp

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gng crzy wth th blg stff

it's kind of like being too high to communicate

a review of michael hessel-mial's poem series 'i am rainbow'

2009-06-22T08:49:00.023-05:00

poet, michael hessel-mial
publisher, pangur ban party

"i am rainbow"

the title is funny. i like listening to my voice in my head say the words. when i told it to people it made them laugh but they also looked interested i think.

"this poem is pissed at the other poems"

i like michael's vision of himself.

"phone sex"

this version of this poem is better than the first version i read. everything in this poem feels 'true' like a fact but even more than a fact or something. i felt like telling michael, "i don't say anything either" and "because what can i say that won't feel wrong, ever or something."

"moebius strip"

michael told me this thing once about perceiving yourself through an 'other' like a moebius strip. makes me feel disoriented a little but that might just be the heat and humidity in my room. the things i think while thinking about this poem make this poem enjoyable to me. i feel like this poem is less than or equal to a 'disorienting but beautiful' loop in a panda bear song but not in a way i can explain. i have been thinking the words "which way will it rain" a lot, seems like the poem could be looped, or

"petite observation"

i like the part

"the traffic
lights
and passing cars
and stuff
mean as much
as they should."

because it reminds me of the frankness and arbitrariness of a certain movie. really the whole poem makes me feel that way but especially that part.

"emily dickinson poem"

"me too," but not really.

"looking"

"because I sometimes want to call
everyone I know
and apologize for something
I've done

even if it's undefined
or I haven't done it"

i feel like this is exactly how i feel about my relationships. after i read these lines i felt like a sincere, quiet 'yes' or 'thank you' whispered in the dark, and then i felt helpless but a little consoled because michael had written these lines.

"finger snap"

i know these feelings. i like the end. i heard a person say once, "this person knows how to end a poem" and i feel like michael knows how to end poems very well.

"...poem"

this is a poem about poetry.

'in conclusion' i think these poems are good mostly because of their rereadability and the way you can think about them in an enjoyable way over a period of time longer than you might expect. michael is a poet who holds poetry very awake in the dark, kisses the backs of its knees in the shower, buys it flowers and then throws them in the air to be funny and to mock his conventionality. michael's metaphorical but kind of concrete 'life partner' relationship with and 'love' of poetry is very present in these poems. i might get high and drink something and read them again, not sure yet.

michael sambar makes some of my favorite things to look at

2009-03-09T00:30:00.015-05:00

michael sambar owns blogspot space here and here and here kind of

when i feel bad, like something pretty or really bad has happened, i usually feel like the things michael makes will help me feel calm and arbitrary

the first time i met michael we smoked salvia with his cousin and i never paid him back

his cousin was sweating a lot and kept laughing and asking where he was crying from